Cost And Benefits Of Boundaries In Relationship

Are you a sensitive person?  I am and I react to others, for good or ill.  This is an old post but relevant at the moment.  Good information, culled from fifty years of experience at this point.

I want to continue along the lines of Surviving Your Relationship With (Or As) A Sensitive Type. This is a Saturn in Libra topic where responsibility and boundaries in relationship figure.

I had asthma when I was a kid. It was severe and untreated.  I chalk this up to Mars (violent) conjunct Mercury (lungs) in my chart, I don’t know why I didn’t die.  I outgrew this as a teen, having one last attack when I was about 18 years old (which was treated). This is my history.

I am naturally very healthy otherwise. But around the time of my Saturn return I started to have chronic lung problems. Pleurisy, pneumonia and the like and this was over a number of months. Basically I was just not getting well.

It became so severe my doctor faxed a note to my boss who was resisting giving me time off… “Elsa needs 2 weeks off. Failure to comply with doctor’s orders may result in her death.”

My sister made the connection between stress in relationships (my conjunction is in Libra) creating lung problems. She put it simply:

“If you so much as get a cold, you should look at who you’re dealing with…”

Do you know I’ve not had a cold in 20 years? It took me just a few months to see she was right and if I had trouble breathing with you around, you were out and I was healthy.

I have a responsibility (Saturn) to maintain myself (Cap rising) but with Saturn in Libra the responsibility extends to others. For example, my clients.

My clients rely on me to deliver high caliber work and I am not going to be able to do that if I am sick, be it via my lungs (Mercury) or my MIND (Mercury) or my wrist (also Mercury). My husband too. He did not marry an invalid or someone compromised all the time and this means when I feel myself being compromised (by him or anyone else), I have a responsibility to defend against the threat.

Same thing on this blog which is a Libran affair in large part. If you doubt this, just look at the appearance of the thing. People here are social and we do involve each other in discourse.

I have a few points to make:

First, when it comes to defense for sensitive types it helps if you can identify some kind of early warning your mind or body sends out.

Second, withdrawing when stressed (in my case) is less about manipulating then it is is about protecting the partnership because I do have a point of no return and I think everyone close to me knows this. I can’t stress this enough – when you stress me and I dump you, I don’t miss you AT ALL. It’s pure relief and if you put me through this enough times the end result is predictable.

Third, this is just something I have been meaning to say. If someone shows up on this blog with a mind to agitate me, I am more committed then ever to nuking them and swiftly. The reason is, I am working very hard behind the scenes. I am trying to make a living and when you distract and upset me, you threaten my livelihood by lowering the quality of my work with clients.

Let’s see. My wrist is burning, my mind is racing, I can’t breathe and I am pissed off out of my mind. Are you doing to hire me to read your chart? Probably not.

Compare to the potential of hiring an honest astrologer with a super keen mind and strong communication skills who can see other perspectives be it yours or your partners, who wastes no time offering up the goods and it’s pretty clear in which direction I should head.

If someone is going to compromise the quality of your life, negatively impact your happiness or your ability to perform your job or take care of your family, should they be in your life (or your blog)? Whose responsibility is it to come up with, create and then defend the quality of your life?

I want to point out this post covers an arc of forty years. That should tell you that this is not an experiment. This is what I have learned over the course of my lifetime.

Hitchhike if you can.